B.E.R.G.

I’m the lyricist for the British Experimental Rock Band project with long-time collaborator, Steve Kilpatrick. We kick around ideas for songs based on movies that we like and then Steve brings them to life. Here are a few examples:

WHO GOES THERE?
First goddamn week of winter and look at the shit we’re in
Dog chased by a chopper sure got under our skin
First goddamn week of winter
El Capitan got to use his gun
Now it’s just us against The Thing here at Outpost Thirty-One
Bennings is burning, Fuchs got fucked
Norris burst open wide
Guess crazy old Blair was right all along
And we’re the warmest place to hide
Doc’s dead, Clarke’s dead, Norris is a spider-head?
You gotta be fucking kidding me!
Flamethrower that fuck!
Man, this sucks!
You’re not assimilating me
So now it’s us against it and I don’t give a shit
I can’t trust anyone
Hey hey Sweden
And fuck the Norwegians
Answer one question
Who Goes There? Who Goes There? Who Goes There? Who Goes There?
Answer one question
Who Goes There?
First goddamn week of winter with no idea who’s friend or foe
So take a seat on the couch and I’ll show you what I already know
Doc was still human, Clarke was still human
Palmer’s still… The fucking Thing!
Childs, pass me the flamethrower
It could be all of us by spring
So now it’s us against it and I don’t give a shit
I can’t trust anyone
Hey hey Sweden
And fuck the Norwegians
Answer one question
Who Goes There? Who Goes There? Who Goes There? Who Goes There?
Answer one question
Who Goes There?
Windows crashed, Gary got snatched
Nauls is long overdue
Planning a little trip?
I’ll dynamite your ship
Oh yeah? Fuck you too!
So now it’s us against it
And I don’t give a shit
I can’t trust anyone
Hey hey Sweden
And fuck the Norwegians
Answer one question
Who Goes There? Who Goes There? Who Goes There? Who Goes There?
Answer one question
Who Goes There?
Dunno what the hell The Thing is
Apart from weird and pissed
Wait… Let’s just wait here a while and see what happens…
I don’t care what you say
Let The Thing rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway

BACK FROM THE BLACK
Lost
She was lost for so long
Lost So lost
Now she’s back
Back back back from the black!
Crossed the event horizon went to hell and back! Back back back from the black!
Crossed the event horizon went to hell and back!
Where we’re going, we won’t need eyes to see. Open your mind and set your soul free
This ship is a lock and your crew is the key Open their bodies and set their souls free
Back back back from the black!
Crossed the event horizon went to hell and back! Back back back from the black!
Crossed the event horizon went to hell and back! Back back gotta get back!
Crossed the event horizon wants to take you back! Back back gotta get back!
Crossed the event horizon wants to take you back!
She’s beautiful, like flames in zero g
Let her inside, come burn with me
Where we’re going, we won’t need eyes to see. Open your mind and set your soul free
Back back back from the black! Back back back from the black!
Back back gotta get back!
Crossed the event horizon wants to take you back! Back back gotta get back!
Crossed the event horizon wants to take you back!
She has
Such wonderful things to show you She has
Such wonderful places to take you Save us
Please don’t leave us to perish Save yourselves
Libera te tutemet ex inferis
Missing forever, lost, overdue
She opened a gateway, went somewhere new Where we’re going, we won’t need eyes to see Eternal mariners on an ancient sea
Back back back from the black!
Crossed the event horizon went to hell and back! Back back back from the black!
Crossed the event horizon went to hell and back! Back back gotta get back!
Cross the event horizon she wants to take you back! Back back back from the black!
Cross the event horizon there’s no going back!
Back back back from the black!
Crossed the event horizon went to hell and back! Back back back from the black!
Crossed the event horizon went to hell and back! Back back gotta get back!
Cross the event horizon she wants to take you back! Back back gotta get back!
She has
Such wonderful things to show you She has
Such wonderful places to take you Save us
Please don’t leave us to perish Libera te tutemet ex inferis

ALL MESSED UP
Nineteen. Sixty-eight. Venus Probe. Over-head.
Cosmic rays. End of days. World’s gone. Sideways.
Long night. A-head. Here come The Living Dead.
ALL MESSED UP!
Non-stop. Night-mare-a. They’re coming to get you, Barbara!
Head bashed. Car crash. 100 yard, farmhouse dash.
Rot-ten. Dead men. All together! Let’s meet Ben!

Tire iron. To the face. Fortify this fucking place!
Boarded windows. Hammer. Nails. Keep ‘em off my entrails!
ALL MESSED UP!
ALL MESSED UP!
Hell’s full. The graveyard’s spewin’. Nom, nom, nom! Let’s get chewin’!
We’re ALL MESSED UP!
Beat ‘em. Or burn ‘em. They go up pretty easy.
Bash, em. And smash ‘em. They sure ain’t speedy.
But they’re ALL MESSED UP!
Come up from the cellar, fellers. Don’t be strangers. Hi teenagers.
ALL MESSED UP!
Kid, bit. Dad’s a prick. Time we made a run for it.
TV party tonight! Then make a plan. Alright!
Find the keys. It’s a fucking breeze. Trust in Ben’s expertise.
One. Two. Three. Four. Open up the fucking door!
Poor Judy. Poor Tom. Both go up like a bomb.
Poor Helen. Disembowelled. By her kid with a trowel.
Stupid Harry. King of the cellar. Gut shot. ‘cause he’s yeller.
Johnny’s back! All dressed up. Takes Barbara out.
That’s ALL MESSED UP!
Redneck Cavalry’s advancing. Looks like Ben’s the last man standing.
A shot rings out, our hero dies. He got it right between the eyes!
And ain’t that ALL MESSED UP?
ALL MESSED UP!
ALL MESSED UP!